I was already having one of those mornings. You know, the ones you only talk about with your cat because anything else is pretty much the definition of ‘oversharing’. The kind where you see the jogger in the same turquoise tracksuit, blonde hair and pink headband running up two perpendicular streets within seconds of each other. And you have one of those ‘simulation moments’.

When I watched the kind and earnest Dr. Suneel Dhand talk about this on his Youtube channel, I thought he must be having us on. Or maybe the Food & Drug Administration had got their calendars mixed up and thought it was already April 1st.

But no, it was true. The FDA – the health agency of the United States, just recommended pizza dipped in chocolate. For real.

But no, it was true. The FDA DID recommend pizza dipped in chocolate.

Are they just laughing at us now? Those simulator editors. It’s like they ran the movie Idiocracy through the simulation just to see if we would notice.

I’m not going to insult you with explaining WHY pizza dipped in chocolate is one of the absolutely unhealthiest things you can put into your body. But I will mention that pizza and chocolate are 2 of the top 5 MOST ADDICTIVE FOODS know to humans.

Scientists Find Pizza and Chocolate Are the Two Most Addicting Foods

Well, I’m going to just go and dip my pizza in chocolate and quietly die. Because I’m guessing this is what they want. And you know, I like to follow the science.