Heart attacks are all the rage
trending high among the fittest of the fit
no one is safe

defibrillators in the playground

headlines warn us to ‘know the risks’

sleeping too much
sleeping too little
sleeping on the left side
or is it the right?
going to sleep later than 11 pm
nodding off in front of the telly
sleeping with the light on

making the bed

cold weather
hot weather
changing weather
climate change
living on a busy road
under a flight path

going on holiday

shoveling snow
not enough exercise
winter storms
having a weak handshake
too much exercise
being short, being tall
sitting down, standing up

taking a shower

being single
in a bad marriage
good sex
bad sex
watching porn

loneliness

eating out
too much coffee
not enough coffee
cleaning the house

mondays

not knowing when you’re being played

being sarcastic

note: all of the above, except the penultimate line, are actual media headlines from 2021 to 2022