Author Archives: subincontinentia

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About subincontinentia

writer and eternal optimist

Natural Misery vs. Chemical Happiness

Taking an anti-depressant is like the start of a new relationship. You need a few dates before you get to know it, how it treats you, what it brings out in you. My mishap with Celexa™ that had triggered a … Continue reading

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An experiment with self-medication (don’t try this at home)

December, 2010 “You nasty little fucker!!!” I was in a sleepy country lane, in the bucolic village of Bir in Himachal Pradesh where I had come for a weekend of Buddhist teachings, screaming at a Pomeranian. It was the morning … Continue reading

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the WELLBUTRIN diaries: 2 hours later

A continuation from Wellbutrin…moving on June 16th 2010 “I wave to myself from a country lane. A soldier returning from war.” It was Summer in Los Angeles and I was staying at a friend’s place while they were away. It … Continue reading

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Footsteps of spiders

Before you even said a word, This news had a sound, An audible discomfort The footsteps of spiders. Tired, so tired of all this losing, If I’m still not ready to let it go, I’ll settle for watching it leave … Continue reading

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The man in the catamaran

I took this photo in Kerala. Every time I look at it I feel something different about it. Yesterday, when I felt lonely, it was an image of loneliness. At other times, it’s an image of a fisherman quite happily … Continue reading

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In absentia: confessions of a depressed Buddhist

“…soon other emotions follow happiness into oblivion; sadness as you had known it, the sadness that seemed to have led you here; your sense of humor; your belief in and capacity for love. Your mind is leached until you seem … Continue reading

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the WELLBUTRIN diaries: moving on

Time doesn’t heal. Time is a hospital ward. Space is what heals. Healing begins as mysteriously as the depression. When depression is there it is total. There is space for nothing else. Healing begins with a crack….for me that crack … Continue reading

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The Ganga Chronicles

“You canno forsch life inku enggi shay you wan jus fom guh powah of your fillings.” German Baba struggled to form the words around his toothbrush that had been busily working its way around his mouth for the past ten … Continue reading

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Chain-smoking guru

I went downstream – to imagine How things could have been different I went upstream – and worried How things might change But then your grandfather’s words Rippled underneath…. “The boat is the middle. Stay on the boat.” From Water … Continue reading

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River Turner

Where does understanding go, when it goes? Are you sure it ever existed? I can’t change the course of the Ganga But if I could I would drink it dry And spit it out in another direction…

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